Selling Dreams

Not sure what to do with your life? Just Google it. That’s where all the answers are. You’ll receive an endless list of gurus and successful business people singing their songs of victory. Check out Ted Talks and listen to hundreds of quacks babble on for twenty minutes about why you should give them money.

And you can do it too! ….. for a small fee….. buy their book, subscribe, like, donate and you’ll receive instant happiness. Put someone on a stage with a microphone and suddenly they’re Buddha selling enlightenment package deals.

There is an enormous market of unmotivated individuals searching for greater meaning in their average lives. Why not capitalise on their lack of direction? Enter Tim Ferriss, Robert Kiyosaki and the circus of Get Rich Yesterday. Their talks are packed with catch phrases, parallels which don’t really have anything to do with your situation but sound great and metaphors which will have you fired up and on the edge of your seat with credit card in hand! Tell me that my dreams can come true!

Kiyosaki’s own ventures flopped like a fat man off a diving board. He then opened his own business school. You know, to share his knowledge of how not to run a business. Today we know that his books and seminars were all lies and the company is bankrupt. He’s still a millionaire while his followers are poorer in both cash and confidence.

Ferriss at least made some dollar before selling the 4-hour toilet paper series. Hey here’s a unique idea! Come up with a vague business plan, like selling sketchy supplements, lie in a hammock and outsource the work to over-qualified Indians. Who’s with me?

Josh Kaufman is willing to sell you the dream of learning any skill extremely quickly. Just whip out that bank card, plug yourself into the matrix and download guitar fingers in under 20 hours. Of course people are going to buy the book! Who doesn’t want ten years worth of competence in just a few days? But that’s not all! This magician has another cash cow up his sleeve. Don’t have the time or money to invest in an MBA? This is so ridiculous it’s sad. Josh can show you how. Just pay him.

All these men take advantage of people who are looking for ways to better their lives. Average people are willing to pay a lot of money for reputable advice on financial independence and quality of life. Donal Trump was quoted as saying to a sales rep at Trump University that they’re not selling degrees, they’re selling dreams.

Their tactics may be immoral and occasionally illegal, but it’s the general public who behave like salmon every time their favourite lure lands in front of their gaping mouths. Whether it’s financial freedom, business knowledge or a ukulele in a banana hammock, everyone is after happiness. And they’re willing to pay clowns to give it to them.

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